Once I pulled the fear out of the shadows, kicking and screaming, into the light, everything got a lot simpler. I had always believed that procrastination was my problem. The real problem was fear and, unless your physical being is in jeopardy, that’s rarely a good basis on which to plan a career or a life.
The thing about stupid fears like this — as opposed to fears such as “Stay away from the grizzly bear”; that’s good fear — is that they seem true when they whisper things from the shadows. They tend to lose power, however, when you drag them screaming into the daylight. It doesn’t matter who’s doing the screaming — you or the fear; “daylight” is the operative word here.
I’ve been married to my best friend for 10 years today. We’ve been through some of the ups and downs of life (thankfully, mostly ups), and we’ve had each other’s backs whenever and wherever we’ve needed to. There has never been a doubt in my mind that she would be there for me at any given moment, just as I wouldn’t hesitate to give her whatever she needed whenever she needed it. It’s a fact of life. The sun rises in the east, sets in the west and Kristen and I there for each other no matter what.
After the loss of a pet, or anyone you love, your mind bounces around the timeline of your relationship. You remember your first meeting, the final moments, the random moments that make life worth living, the decline in health, the energy of younger days…. If there’s a pattern, I haven’t figured it out.
As I write this, I’m about three hours away from hitting the “publish” button to get the first print proof for my first book. It’s a short book of flash fiction stories, and while I’m proud of it, it’s really a way to get my feet wet in the world of authorship and self publishing. I’ve got a novel currently at the revision stage, and am thinking of that as the “main event.”